Beside the Sea Tidings - August 2025

'Selah' - A Peaceful Pause

(Image: Unsplash)

Join me at 1pm on Sunday 21 September for an afternoon of Family Systemic Constellations - creating peace in our world one heart at a time.

A ‘selah’ moment describes to me, an invitation a ‘peaceful pause'.

When I work with children during a therapy session, it is wonderful to see their faces when they realise their ability to place their hands on their tummy, just below their ribs and to breathe slowly and mindfully in recognition of a moment of frustration or anger. When they are able to calm their own emotions by their own actions, when they refocus on their breath - often they will smile to experience the power of their own ability to become calm and to feel better. When working with adults, this ability to learn to recognise our emotions and to access a true self of compassion and care within the moment can help to restore us to our right mind. Of course, this takes some practice for child and adult. Attending to my own ability to pause and to focus on a peaceful posture and to support parents to grow their ability to be present also helps all of us contribute to peace in our world.

The word ‘selah’ has a few meanings according to the language and word origin in Hebrew, Greek or English. I’m choosing to include the Greek meaning of ‘a pause in rhythm or melody, or ' a change in thought or theme’ and a Hebrew root meaning, ‘to hang’ or ‘to weigh’ as well as a modern English meaning of a moment to 'pause', to 'listen and to reflect'. In this way, selah may bring to us a moment to pause, to weigh up, and to allow time for our natural emotive reaction to shift to a considered non-reactive response.

Selah may also be described as a ‘holy pause’ or even a 'peaceful pause' that allows for a possibility to refocus, to deepen our breath and to become aware of our internal reactions; to recognise and to regulate our own emotions, to reassess whether we desire conflict or peace and to take the higher road.

We are often taught to ‘count to 10’ – yet in a heated moment when there is much influencing us (such as raised stress hormones, lack of sleep, activated emotions, perceived lack of understanding) we may not have this moment accessible enough in our mind or our thoughts - to count to 10.

A daily inward and outward practice, of pausing, creates in us a habit that helps us with 'turning the other cheek’, not to be taken advantage of by another – but for our own benefit. We can choose to physically turn our neck, moving our head, so that our eyes look elsewhere and this can have an effect of a ‘holy pause’ rather than giving the conflictual moment more fuel of our unfiltered reactions.

Developing a practice of ‘pausing’ gives us a moment to come back to our good sense – to ground ourselves and to find again our heart desire - to not escalate conflict but to deescalate conflict, bringing balance and kindness back to our hearts.

We gain an increased ability to see ourselves and the other person in a truer light with more time and compassion. Systemic Constellation Facilitators often access a pause during a constellation in order to step back from a constellation; to assess what is happening for them; to assess if their experience is part of the family system? to listen - is there a word or phrase that needs to be said and by whom?

In April 2026, during the 3rd Aotearoa New Zealand Constellation Incorporated/Immersive (ANZCI) in Rotorua, I will be presenting a workshop based on the theme of 'selah'. There will be opportunity for participants to bring a personal issue or inquiry as well and we will see in an actual and teaching moment where a 'selah' moment allows a shift in our somatic experience and perhaps in our perception. When we perceive newly our hearts soften and healing is possible.

Upcoming Family Systemic Constellation Afternoon:

Sunday, 21 September, Warragul, Gippsland.

Join me on Sunday 21 September 2025 for an afternoon of Family Systemic Constellations. Come and experience this unique modality, drawing on our empathy and willingness to hold space for one another. We gain insight into not only the human condition but into stuck patterns and entanglements that hold us back - unconsciously. Often our deep-rooted issues have their origins in the past, yet the family surface narrative does little to really understand the generational and inter-generational trauma that is passed on until resolved. We are often bewildered by our own difficulties and struggles despite all our efforts.

You are welcome to participate as one of the compassionate holding circles or to look at your own issue. Whether we represent for others or look at our issue, we often each receive what we need for healing, as well as feeling connected and a greater sense of belonging.

Date: Sunday 21 September 2025

Time: 1pm - 5pm

Location: 83 Victoria Rd, Warragul, Gippsland

Cost: $180.00 (Concession available)

All profits will be donated to The Midwife Project in Guatemala. See: https://www.midwifeproject.net/

For more 2025 workshops dates please see: https://www.besidethesea.au/familyconstellationworkshops

For Cafe Circles for Family Caregivers and Caring professional please see:

https://www.besidethesea.au/familyconstellationcafecircles

I hope to see you there, Caed mille failte - 'A hundred thousand welcomes'.

Kindly,

Karena

(Image: Hayley Wild on Unsplash)